I keep starting new posts while Sam is napping, but then he wakes up and I say I’ll finish it later. By the time the next nap rolls around, I realize I’ve lost my train of thought or emotional connection and the whole thing just doesn’t flow. So, here I sit with a nursing, sleeping baby wondering “What should I write about?? What do I want to say? Should I say anything at all?”
Babykins is four months now and getting bigger everyday (a whopping 13 pounds, 6 ounces at his doctors appointment last Friday – more than doubled his weight!!). He’s a cutie patootie. He loves his little feet and blowing raspberries. He has the greatest smile in the whole wide world, but he gives them quite selectively and they are so hard to capture on camera.
I want to have precious photos to post that show how charmed our life is (don’t get me wrong, it is), like all my favorite bloggers do. However, I find I am less able to make my son laugh with a camera in his face (whether little iPhone or giant Nikon), and I am less able to be in the moment. I do take tons of snapshots of our sweet boy, so that daddy can see him grow; but they are blurry and often show only one eye. So, I’m sorry I don’t update enough or return messages as quickly, but I want to make sure I savor every baby stage and really be a part of this life of ours. I’ve spent so much of my life in a “shoulda, coulda, woulda” state of mind (or worse, counting down to the next chapter), and I refuse to be that person anymore. I am enjoying every single minute, and the only thing that could make it better would be having P home with us (slightly off topic, our household goods were picked up yesterday and only a little more than a week until he’s home!!!!!).