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Last night, I stumbled upon this post, and it kind of broke my heart.

I’ll admit, Patrick and I have spent many hours discussing the less than helpful things people have said to us in an attempt to make us feel better post miscarriage. And from my resolutions post, you know I’m trying to be better about letting friends know when their words sting. The most common phrases uttered in the aftermath of a loss are often designed to minimize and remove pain, which they never do in the slightest. In fact, most of the time, it just makes our pain worse.

But here’s what I want you to know, what I’ve told Patrick and those closest to me many times on this very subject:

I know you care. I know you care so much about us that you will do anything to take away the slightest bit of our pain, in whatever way you think might work. I know you don’t understand what we are experiencing, and I don’t want you to understand it. I pray every night that not another family loses a baby or child. I wouldn’t wish a miscarriage on my worst enemy.

So, please, know that your words might hurt or might not make us feel better at all, but don’t stop saying them. Don’t refuse to say them out of fear of saying the wrong thing. Know, that I know you care.

Thank you for caring enough to want to lift us up in our greatest time of need.